August 2010
1 post
“why would someone choose to do that when they could spend the time accruing...”
– mattan, on wwoofing
July 2010
2 posts
“that’s not a pepperoni nipple, it’s the whole pizza”
– brendan
“just e-mail me, bitch”
– richie
November 2008
5 posts
“it’s perfect, one less would be too many.”
– brendan, on handles
“its like going from a unicycle to a rolls royce.”
– thom malach, on barack obama’s presidential victory
“the city that never sleeps would never vote for a man that goes to bed at...”
– stephen colbert, on the prospect of new york voting for john mccain
“dude - just grind against her crotch.”
– brendan, on achieving erections
October 2008
10 posts
“i can’t identify with having to call my ejaculate, “number...”
– mihir
“i thought they didn’t allow [those] people to congregate anymore!”
– mihir
“i also think you called him an arab.”
– josh, on richie’s verbal assault on 405’s superintendent
“i understand that you want to be a nice guy, but that’s a little...”
– brendan
“i decided a long time ago that he is perhaps one of the least attractive people...”
– mihir, on a significantly unattractive courtyard peasant
“these are the kind of games that make you want to smash your phone.”
– josh, on cube runner
“now that you write checks, you’re going to have to balance your checkbook!”
– richie, advising mattan on his finances
“with the scientist, you can really fuck yourself up. c’mon man, i’ve...”
– richie
“i only believe in sex until marriage.”
– brendan
brendan: you know man, the condom is just another barrier.
mihir: well, i don't know about that, but i can say that the condom can sometimes get in the way.
josh: yeah, but so can herpes.
richie: let's start a chant for the canon logic.
mattan: we can get some 12-year olds and make it sound like 'the wall'.
— at the mtv2 battle of the bands
September 2008
90 posts
“the rest of my night depends completely on whether the canon logic wins or not....”
– richie
mihir: i'm going to go for it.
richie: i mean, i don't want to discourage you - but she's got some great tits.
richie: its great how we lit that on one match.
mihir: its like vietnam,
richie: like viet-fucking-nam.
“i’m getting some great side-boob action right now,”
– mihir
“i’m just looking at her, hearing her cry and getting [more] sick.”
– pat, on whimpering bitches stifling the act of vomiting
“you should only shake hands with a man for as long as you would cross swords...”
– mihir, on the self-explanatory
“i’ve got a pen - this one’s kinda old.”
– sen. john mccain, waving around a sharpie marker
mattan: you are so popular!
nami: omg i know! i should have a blog about how awesome i am.
“it’s easy to hide a girlfriend when she lives in australia.”
– pat, on carolina’s romantic misadventures
“aliens are coming to abduct all the sexy looking people - don’t worry...”
– mattan
“come on, log out buddy.”
– mihir, on controlling other people’s facebooks
“its like watching the view.”
– mihir, on listening to carolina and kelsey speak fondly of the ‘boy’ from down the hall in a style reminiscent of the ‘girl-talk’ mode of conversation.
“just sucked into the hanging out.”
– the family, on why we spend so much time not getting things accomplished
“i literally scrolled all the way through this shit to see if anything about me...”
– sarah
mihir: grundle
richie: grendel
mihir: grundellyy
richie: grendel
richie: mother of grendel
mihir: grondell. grondell kelkar. grondell johnson. he's gonna play in the nfl.
“it’s not a matter of don’t do it - just don’t overdo it.”
– kelsey, on the excessive consumption of adderall
richie: i believe in god.
brendan: well that's too bad.
“i just talked to chuck close. he had a very squishy hand as well.”
– boyang, in response to mattan’s observation about the squish factor of alex katz’s hand
“just deer being richie.”
– mattan, on a film showing a deer knocking alcohol over in a refrigerator
“fire extinguisher. someone get the fire extinguisher.”
– mihir, while holding a frying pan that happened to be up in flames at the time
“wow, you guys have a lot of attractive friends.”
– michelob, at the canon carousal
“how do you get so many attractive people to come to your parties?”
– girl across the hall, at brendan’s birthday bonanza
“i’ve had period sex before, but its not - let’s not talk about...”
– mihir
“the novelty wears off once you realize that it’s going to be terrible.”
– mattan, on the practical implications of having sex with a virgin
“no more tears.”
– brownstein and zimmerman, a sign
“snowblindness is a huge issue with cats.”
– richie